Lesson Learned 4. "Beware The Crooked Smiles"

"Beware The Crooked Smiles" Friends vs. Enemies -What I've gathered through my encounters when dealing with "fake friends". Have you ever been in a "relationship" with someone who's only happy for your success when they're apart of it, only supportive of your vision when you agree to acknowledge their contribution, no matter how large or small it may be? Have you ever been in a "friendship" where your dreams are bigger than everyone else's and when you present them to everyone your "friend" is the only one who's saying "yeah you can do it, BUT..."? Have you ever had a connection with someone who loved people -but you couldn't love people more than them -who dreamed big, but wouldn't allow you to dream bigger than them? As long as you were on their level everything was good and as soon as you looked like you'll reach a little higher or go a little further than them, they'd say something to bring you down and keep you boxed in? Beware the connection who's never willing to push you towards your maximum potential and is always in competition to be better than you. My definition of a relationship is simple, its a connection with another person, be it a friendship or a partnership, in some way you are connected on a personal level and you feel safe with this person. You share things with this person you wouldn't share with anyone else and you value the other persons feelings, beliefs, and standards. Real friends push you, they bring out the best in you -they see the best in you, and they will do almost anything pull it out of you. Sometimes we confuse real friends, with real enemies -those jealous people who want what you have. Those people who smile in your face one minute, but the next are talking about you in a way you wouldn't believe, if you heard. Those people who celebrate the good you do, with you, but once you're out of the picture turn around and magnify the wrong you've done in attempt to defame your character and make themselves seem bigger and better than you are. (Oh, how your insecurities speak louder than you do.) But aren't your friends the people you've set aside to be vulnerable with? Those people who know your sparkle doesn't always shimmer and your sun doesn't always shine. Aren't they the ones who are suppose to tell you when you're wrong and help build you up and not break you down? As the saying goes, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". Well, I must be the fake friend magnet because all my enemies I keep in my jeans pocket. The front right one to be exact! I wouldn't dare put them in my back pocket -so they can creep out and stab me...I think not! I keep them in the front so I can watch their every move, their interactions with their other "friends" and compare and contrast it to how they treat me. I watch their demeanor and monitor how it changes when we're one on one. I keep them in the right pocket because my reflexes are quicker, so if they need to be shut down and scaled back down to size, I'm on it. Lol My advice to you is to monitor your relationships, some of them are in fact, toxic. There is no such thing as "friendly competition" with my friends, we all win! There is no I'll bring you down so I can build you back up -I didn't make you, so I can't break you! Now everyone can't win with you. Sometimes you have to wash those jeans, you'll have to clean out those pockets so what's in them won't mess them up. Sometimes you have to check out your inner circles, sometimes it's those "old faithfuls" who are so use to you losing they don't want to see you win -those "misery loves company friends" and Sometimes it's those "new" friends - like Drake said "no new friends, no new friends, no new friends, no no new" lol. The good thing about those old faithful friends who have always been there and genuinely love you, they'll continue to be there no matter the circumstance, the triumph or the failure. They'll be your biggest cheerleader when you're getting closer to the touchdown and they'll be your biggest motivator when you feel like you're about to break. Praise God for genuine connections! The bad thing about new friends is you have to go through trial and error. You have to look past the grin and get down to the heart of the matter. It's more work. You have to check motives and perform a criminal investigation before you can trust them with your damaged goods. Sometimes its worth it and the background check clears, and sometimes its fraudulent -the connection is fake. Like the old folks say, "smiling faces tell lies". It's ok to guard your hearts, but don't become bitter and unfriendly. I always say, I appreciate genuine connections. It takes a lot for someone to allow another person they don't really know love on them when they're at their ugliest. See me and my friends we get ugly together and when its time to go out we get back cute again; but we're never afraid to be ourselves around each other, we're never afraid to admit when we're lost and we don't know who we are, because we know the other person will always see our potential. That's real love, that's a real connection! Shout to my real friends! "Until we have seen someone's darkness we don't really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is" -Marianne Williamson My friends know "Your pretty don't make me ugly" -no shade! -Dr. Jennifer Johnson Love, ChelCy