Lesson Learned 3. "The Make, The Mold, and The Model."

The Make, The Mold, and The Model.

Mentors vs. Idols -my personal experience with getting it twisted, losing sight of who I was and how I got myself back on track.

Like a car there's the make (the style/theme)-it may allude eloquence and speed or the feel of comfort and family, the mold (the shape)- it may be sleek and secure, a little sporty, and maybe even a little homely, and the model (the number)- to signify its originality.

Like our favorite cars we humans have developed a sense of style, we have our own shapes, and there's something significantly different about each of us that sets us apart from one another.

Just as we have our own individuality so do others...

Birds of a feather flock together, as the saying goes. People are attracted to other people who share certain characteristics -I like you because you possess a certain likeness, there are certain qualities in which you carry that cause me to like you and because of this attraction I think we should be friends, if we can't be friends -in some way we should be connected.

Every person has this vision of the type of person they want to be (if you aren't there already). You know how you want to live, and you may even know exactly where. You have a plan for your life and you're sticking to it!

Well I've finally had an epiphany after searching for my "likeness" and after a few long, hard years of being bamboozled by acquaintances I thought I liked. I finally knew who I was, the types of people I wanted to be surrounded by, and the type of person I'd ultimately want to be. I have it all figured out.

Have you ever heard of a "vision board"?

The purpose of the vision board is simple. You put things on it related to your goals, you make notes, and you place it in a spot that's visible for you to see so you won't lose sight of your goals and plans in life.

Well in the process of making a vision board you are to use magazine clippings of homes, cars, quotes, successful people, maybe even your mentors, or someone who's life you'd like to model after...aha! We're almost there...

I used the vision board as an example to demonstrate how easy it is to get confused with modeling your life after someone, because you either admire their success, or because you just think that person is so great at what they're doing you admire them and want to be just like them (I want to be just like "such and such" when I grow up).

Every one of us were designed and created with a purpose in this life. Some of us were created to lead, some to follow, and all to serve. Its easy to visualize the person we want to be, but its hard to embrace the person you are today. Sometimes we get so caught up on our vision and the people we model after, that we tend to lose sight of the uniqueness we posses in being our authentic selves.

I ran across a post on my Instagram timeline one day that captured the words I was feeling in the moment that I realized I lost sight of who I was and who God was molding me to be; because I was too focused on becoming the successful and great people I set on the "vision board" in front of me.

"Exposure is designed to effect you, not to change you into what you've been exposed to. Just as exposure to the sun doesn't make you the sun, but it does effect you. Our mentors are designed to effect us and change the condition of the journey. I urge you don't lose authenticity trying to be what you've seen."

-Preashea Hilliard

It's ok to have mentors and look up to role models, but remember our mentors are designed to influence our lives not consume them. Once their lives becomes your life and their likes becomes your likes, you've crossed over from admiring the "make" to trying to conform yourself into their "model". You forget there's only one model number and there's absolutely no way a Buick can be a Mercedes Benz.

Don't lose sight of who you are because you're too busy trying to become someone else. Their happiness isn't your happiness and their peace isn't your peace. Enjoy the beauty of being simply you!

Back to Reality

After I realized I crossed over from admiration to infatuation, from mentor to idol, I knew I had to take a step back. Instead of being a part of the following I observed the things I admired most about them.

I've never physically had a vision board but I'm my mind I removed their pictures and replaced it with the characteristics of my mentors.

For example:

-Compassion for all people especially those who can do nothing for me.

-Confidence and Boldness when speaking.

- Style & Grace

- Knowledge of the Word of God and the confidence in leaning on His promise.

See, once you take the person out of the picture you're left with your ultimate goals. God didn't design me to be my role model, he designed me to be ME. When I grow up I don't want to be such and such, but I do want to be the compassionate, bold, and successful woman of God who loves and cares about all people.

1 John 5:21 KJV

[21] Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.

Love,

ChelCy