My Story " Learning Faith: Faith or The Lack There Of "

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen -Hebrews 11:1

For most of my life I never believed in anything greater than what I seen. If I couldn't touch it, it wasn't real. If I couldn't see it, I didn't believe. I mean Santa Clause wasn't real, my mama bought everything I needed so who was God, nobody even knows what he looks like...

As a child I grew up in the church. I remember going and sit on the pastors lap and him giving me peppermints or pieces of candy. Me being a typical child, I went to anyone who was nice and sweet to me. Sadly, that's all I remember about going to church when I was little. When I turned 10 and I moved to Port Arthur, Texas. I remember it not being mandatory to go to church and with me not having to go, I only went when my older sister said she was going. There were 3 things that attracted me to church when I was younger:

1.) Getting the opportunity to see my aunts, grandmother, and cousins I didn't get the chance to visit with most of the time (my family is not very tight knit).

2.) To sing and dance to the music (in my mind I'm a singer and I can sing -not everyone will agree, but I beg to differ. lol)

3.) I'd get to sneak and eat snacks. See me being the "sweets" eating child I was, if I knew I could possibly have the chance to eat some snacks, then I'd be on board. Plus the thrill of getting caught doing something you weren't suppose to be doing was always fun. I mean we would get to church a little early or leave before the sermon started so we could walk to the store and get bags full of snacks.

My purpose for going to church was never about The Word or believing in a higher source. It was always about me and my snacks and enjoying the time I got to spend with my family members I didn't get to see all the time.

The older I got the more I began to pay attention to what was happening around me when I went to church. See I grew up baptist so that meant a lot of loud hallelujah's, a few faithful members who always had a testimony, the church gossip, and someone always screaming over the preacher in agreement with every other word he says, to say the least. The older I got the more repetitious it got, it began to seem like a show being put on every Sunday. The purpose of the sermon was overshadowed by the distractions of the people in the pews. It seemed like every time I would hear The Word, something or someone would come out of nowhere with a distraction, so I stopped going. Cold turkey, no turning back - I could get snacks at home and I could see my family members whenever I saw them. I did not care to be distracted and be apart of this show any longer. Oh, how I wish I would've stayed or found a new church.

My teenage years were my roughest years. I'd say I've been through more In my teenage years than people twice my age, and I was right. The further I strayed the deeper in my mess I got. My life seemed so hard. There was always a problem, so I found a solution. I stopped believing in God. I figured if he was real I wouldn't be going through the things I'm going through, I wouldn't be treated the way I'm being treated, I would feel loved. If God was real I'd be happy. Truth is, if I believed these same things would still be happening to me, because God wasn't responsible for my mess -I was!

The first time I stepped foot back in a church besides the occasional wedding or funeral- but to go to church and hear The Word of God was when I went with my best friend and her family. She was Catholic and the Catholic Church is far different from what I was use to. It was quieter, there was respect for the Father, and there was a lot of sitting and kneeling. I was totally out of the loop, but I catch on quick so I sort of got the hang of things and participated as much as I could throughout the service. That experience made me want to go to church again (just not that type of church lol. That was a little too structured for me -I like a little freedom, and maybe those random hallelujah's weren't too bad after all ). However, I did not return.

It wasn't until I met my current boyfriend 2 years later that I found out what Faith was and how to use it. A year or so into our relationship I began to go to church with him -he, like me, was a little rebellious so we didn't attend every Sunday. We didn't even go that often at first, but when we did go I realized that God wasn't fake, Jesus was real, and Faith was something they all had -except me. Even my boyfriend had Faith. I'm very critical and speculative. I like to know how things work, why they work, and how you use them. I wanted to get to know more about this Faith that he had, because I wanted my life to work like his did. His family was close (at first they were a little too close for comfort, but hey, that's just how they are) and I wanted that. They didn't get too stressed out about problems, and they always prayed. Talk about a fish out of water!

I knew when there was a problem or I went through things to pray, but they prayed as a family. There were no silent prayers, it may have been muffled when they were whispering but you heard the prayers. When a certain issue came up they said let's pray about it, not "Oh, I don't know how I'm going to do this but God you gotta help me". When something good happened they praised God, and the peace on their faces only made me want to get to know him more.

I wanted to believe, I wanted to know God. I wanted to have some of this Faith.

After years of going off and on to church and me getting a better understanding of God and Faith I wanted to get serious about church. I was ready to know more. So my boyfriend and I made the decision to go to church faithfully. Yes WE made the decision, there was no "I" in "US" lol -we did EVERYTHING together. If you saw him you'd see me and vice versa.

December 5, 2010 I made the decision that it was time I stopped playing. At New Light Christian Center Church, after hearing Bishop I.V. Hilliard teach/preach for the first time, I answered to all appeals.

• being saved

• being filled with the Holy Spirit

• the evidence in the speaking of tongues

• church membership

I've never been so proud of myself in my life.

I cried away every heartache that day. I cried uncontrollably and my limbs shook so hard because so many times I had the opportunity to do this, but this was finally my moment. This was the turning point in my life. I now had control over my destiny and I was strong enough to fight back! This was the first moment I felt like I wasn't a loser, I was finally going to win!

The Light (as we call it) is a Faith teaching church, a nondenominational church. There's a lot of notes to take, a lot of principles given to apply to your daily life, and there is a lot of love! I LOVE MY CHURCH!

Shout out to the members of The Light at All locations -One church multiple locations! Now back to the story lol...I had to take a minute to represent for "The church like no other".

So look at me, the girl who wanted to go to church, who wanted to know more about this "Faith", and she joined a Faith Teaching Church! #WontHeDoIt

In so little time I learned that I shouldn't lean onto my own understanding. I learned that Jesus was real and He died so that I may live. I learned that God is my total supplier, that the people He placed in line to help me along the journey were only a resource and He was the only source. I realized His love was unconditional and as long as I am His child He will supply all my needs. I learned to give of myself so that He can use me and make me whole.

I began to become confident, my insecurities slowly began to leave, and I got my "swag" back!

I believed!

Yes the devil crept his lil ugly self back into the script sometimes, but my God is the author and finisher of the great book of Chels so He had the power to overwrite the devil every time He saw fit!

My faith in God is overflowing, it's never ending. I trust Him, and He loves me!He loved me enough to redeem me after I spent years discrediting His relevance. He loved me enough to allow me to go through everything I've gone through so that I can be as strong in Faith as I am today. Since I have had faith I have not been miserable and stressed out like I use to be. To truly have faith you must believe even when it seems like the odds are against you and you won't win. You have to trust his timing and know that every hardship is either a blessing or a lesson.

Nothing happened over night and even after I joined church and was saved I struggled in my walk with Faith. It was nothing that I was use to. I went from disbelief to trying to believing, to believing but still skeptical, to just believing because I had no other options -if God didn't work what will?

There's no time limit when you're developing Faith, just trust and know that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!

Love,

ChelCy

#mystory1